“Don’t help others without their permission. Sometimes we want to fix thing about them that they don’t consider to be broken.”
I shared this graphic on Facebook recently along with comments on what it means for me. Not all of those who read my blog follow me on Facebook and I wanted to share it with you as well.
I love this graphic not just for what it says but also the example in the graphic. Can you spot it? I had a small desire to fix it, but then I realized the creator has it just the way they wanted it, no need to change it or recreate it. Its message is beautiful just as it is.
Just as many love deeply, we can judge deeply. We look at someone and see something that is not like us or something they do that we don’t agree with. If we think about it, there is nothing wrong with it, we just don’t like it.
Because we don’t like it, it must be wrong so we try to fix it. We try to fix them. We try to get them to be more like us. They are not “black enough”. When they talk it doesn’t sound right. They aren’t shaped right so they better get their Spanx on. They aren’t pretty enough so we have to get them a makeover. Or how about “Why is he with her? I need to talk to him. He can do better” and it goes on it and on… You have even probably heard someone say, “Who do they think they are?”
There are some people who do want our help and sometimes they don’t know or see it until something triggers it for them. But even then, you can’t force your help on them. Someone will only change when they are ready, willing and committed.
In the coaching world, that is one of the things I love most – learning to live life without judgment. Seeing people and accepting them for who they really are. Someday I will face my ultimate judgment day, but until then I plan to walk fully in who I am, flaws and all.
So until someone asks for your help or gives you permission to help them, relish in the beauty of their uniqueness. Admire them for living boldly in their true authentic self. Love them for just who they are, flaws in all.
Carolyn R. Owens has over 25 years of proven experience and serves as a Career Strategist, Leadership and Life Coach. She is the Chairwoman and CEO of Infinity Coaching, Inc. where they help you up-level your skills so you can up-level your income. Infinity Coaching, Inc. provides one-on-one and group coaching, organizational training, personality assessments and a signature program, the Infinity Coaching Inner Circle. Find out more at https://infinitycoaching.net
