Many people associate success with happiness. If you become successful, you will be happy. If you drive the popular car, live in a big house, wear designer clothes – you will be happy. This is the message many movies and media teaches us. In order to be happy, you must reach a certain status level, acquire material possessions and then get the best-looking guy or girl.
According to Dr. Steve Taubman, you can live in a place where there is so much negativity, regardless of your status level, and still be happy. The key is to not let your condition pull you down to a state of misery. If you allow that to happen, you become part of the problem, not the solution. To me, it’s all about how you define success.
We will all face obstacles on our journey through life. As we work to achieve our goals, we can put so much focus on them, we put off being happy. It’s almost like delayed gratification. We say things like, I’ll be happy when I lose so much weight. When I find Mr. or Ms. Right, that’s when I can find true happiness. I’ll be happy when I have the right salary, home, and the perfect car. Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to want to have luxury items, the big house if that’s what you really want. You must understand your reasons why. Is the person or thing where you are looking to derive your happiness from?
Where do you derive happiness from…
In many cases, our happiness is contingent upon some future event. Dr. Taubman teaches this is a flawed strategy and I wholeheartedly agree. For one thing, this future event may never happen. You could be waiting a lifetime, putting your happiness on this one event and end up being bitter and resentful.
Another thing to consider, as explained by Dr. Taubman, this thing or moment will only bring you happiness for a few minutes. Then you are right back where you started. Can someone or thing truly create happiness for you? Dr. Taubman says no.
“No, they can comfort you. They can give you a moment of relief, but it’s absolutely an inside game…You feel something missing inside of you and look for a way to fill that on the outside. You create a strategy that’s going to win over that feeling, be it affection, romance, or money, whatever you think you need. Usually, it’s approval. Even if you think its money you are hoping the money will get you the friends you want.
You have an external strategy that is doomed for failure because the thing that you need isn’t out there. It’s inside of you and you just haven’t found it yet. Until you know how to fill yourself up from within, you will always be an empty vessel…”
Knowing people and things aren’t what truly makes you happy, now you must answer the question. Should success come before happiness? Do you we have to wait for those special moments in life to be happy? For Dr. Taubman, the answer is very clear. Happiness should come before success.
Happiness should come before success…
“Absolutely happiness. There are a lot of miserable millionaires. You can get material success but if you don’t get it with happiness as a strategy if you are hoping that success is going to breed happiness it won’t. You still feel loneliness and longing. You still feel like something is missing.”
So, you are probably saying, this sounds great but how can I do this? How do I put happiness before success? You start by learning the strategies of happiness and then apply them in your daily interactions and routines. When you implement the strategies, rather than success making you happy, happiness makes you successful.
In my next post will discuss some strategies you can start practicing right away to begin to shift your life to one of joy, peace, and happiness. If you would like to read more about Dr. Steve Taubman, visit his website at http://stevetaubman.com/
Carolyn R. Owens has over 25 years of proven experience and serves as a Career Strategist, Executive and Leadership Coach. She is the President of Infinity Coaching, Inc. where she can help you up-level your skills, so you can up-level your income, career, business or life. Infinity Coaching, Inc. provides one-on-one and group coaching, organizational training, personality assessments, and a signature program, the Infinity Coaching Inner Circle. Carolyn is certified to give both The Energy Leadership Index Assessment and Myers Briggs Type Indicator Assessment. You can find out more he about both assessments and other products and services at https://infinitycoaching.net.
