Life is unpredictable. One moment it is pure bliss, the sun is forever shining, and you have more than enough money in the bank to be comfortable. Other times it can be very challenging. You may be experiencing stress from your job, your relationships, or your finances. Life’s ups and downs are about the only things you can really count on. In the end, it is not about those good times and bad times, but how you cope and recover.
Since you were a little kid, you have developed behaviors and coping mechanisms to get through life. These deep-seated, learned behaviors can serve a purpose for a small amount of time, but eventually, you may start to notice how you used to do things is not working anymore. This can show up in feelings of general frustration with life or feeling stuck. Those feelings are a sign; it is time to change your behavior because it is no longer serving you.
If you are experiencing a lot of those feelings, you are not alone. Everyone has gone through this, and some have felt exactly as you are feeling right now. You do not have to go through this growth process alone. If you are looking for tips on how to change your behavior, read on…
Understand You Have Toxic Habits
The first step in changing your behavior is to accept you have some bad habits. Accept that you cannot go on behaving this way for much longer if you want your life to look and feel different. It would be best if you recognize your bad habits. The fact you are here, right now, reading this is a great sign you are serious about making a change for the better.
Now that you recognize your bad habits, the next step is to come to terms with them. Understand that though you have bad habits, you are not the bad habits you perform. They are only a part of you, but they do not make up your identity. These bad habits are not yours to keep forever. You can change and turn those bad habits into good ones. Remain confident you will make the change. Once you do, making peace with your bad habits will be easier.
Know The Triggers
No one is toxic because they woke up one morning and decided to be toxic. It is a reaction to something someone said, how a situation played out, or what someone or something did. That is why it is great to know what triggers or causes you to display those toxic behaviors. Once you know those behaviors, take a mental inventory of your feelings before the behaviors come toxic. What made you do that? Why did you react in that way? What were you thinking about before you displayed that toxic behavior?
Questions like those are great to ask yourself. Take some time to think about the answers to those questions and analyze them before deciding to display that behavior. When you know what triggers the toxic behavior, you can implement a plan to deal with those triggers the next time they arise. Fight those habits by thinking assertively. Another way to fight off those toxic habits is to physically remove yourself from the situation until your desire to engage in that toxic behavior subsides.
Accept The Fact Triggers Will Exist
Triggers will come again. Just because you choose not to engage in your bad habit or physically remove yourself from the situation does not mean you no longer have to worry about it ever coming back. It will come back. You have to be ready when it does. When you have those urges to engage in your toxic behavior, continue to do the hard work, and do not engage.
If you make a mistake, do not beat yourself up about it. You are still progressing and growing. You are still doing the work it takes, and that is something to celebrate. Remember to be gentle with yourself and to give yourself some grace. Make sure your intentions are set, and you learn from any mistakes.
Small Changes Are Still Changes
Not every change has to be gigantic for it to count toward your progression. Small changes are just as important as big ones. Sometimes making small changes is the best way to make something last. Instead of engaging in toxic behavior, do something else instead and do it when you have the urge.
Every time you feel the urge, do something else instead. For example, if you would like to snack less. Whenever you have the urge to snack, instead of falling victim to that urge, write in your journal or drink a glass of water first. The goal is to replace your bad habits with good ones.
Do A Self Health Check
Okay, you may be thinking, “What does my health have to do with behaviors that no longer serve me?” A whole lot!
When you stop you do a self-health check, you may find some of the reactions you are having are because of a related health issue. Are you feeling more stressed lately? How often do you get an eye exam? You could be avoiding doing some things because you have trouble seeing the computer screen or reading a book. Something as simple as buying a new pair of glasses can make things easier for you.
Take a moment to see how you are physically feeling and, if needed, make the necessary appointments so you can be assured all is well.
Remember, It Is About The Journey And Not The Destination
Obviously, your goal of doing away with toxic behaviors and living your best life is important. However, you do not want to get so caught up in reaching a goal you lose focus on what got you there in the first place. The key to breaking out of the toxic loop you have found yourself in is to commit. You need to fully commit to beat any bad habits.
Stay focused on your plan, and you will be well equipped to handle obstacles that come your way. Have some daily or weekly goals for yourself, and make sure to celebrate when you meet your goals. In those times, when sticking to your plan becomes difficult, remember why you are doing it. Remind yourself of those bad habits you are trying to get rid of, and you will see it all the way through. You will be more likely to stick to your journey instead of slipping back into your toxic behaviors.
Do Not Be Afraid To Ask For Help
One of the most important things to remember is there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Although it may feel like it, you are not the only one trying to change their behaviors. Create a support system that is ready to love and care for you while you conquer this.
Whenever you feel like engaging in your toxic behavior, reach out to your friends and family. Call them up, or video chat with them. Invite them over to your house (as long as you mind social distancing guidelines). Ask them to remind you why you are fighting this fight. Ask them to remind you why you are doing this.
If you are not comfortable going to a friend or family member, consider working with a coach. A coach can assist you in creating new behaviors and habits and help you achieve your desired goals. If needed, do not be afraid to contact a counselor or therapist. They are all here to support you and cheer you on.
Ending your toxic behaviors that no longer serve you may seem difficult, but it can be done. You do not have to take this journey alone. The great thing about having a support system and leaning on them when you need help is not only will they be there in your times of trouble, but they will also be there to celebrate your wins. Here’s to YOUR success!
Carolyn R. Owens has over 25 years of proven experience and serves as a Career Strategist, Executive, and Leadership Coach. She is the President of Infinity Coaching, Inc., where she can help you up-level your skills so that you can up-level your income, career, business, or life. Infinity Coaching, Inc. provides organizational training and one-on-one and group coaching. She is also the host of “Let’s Coach with Carolyn.” You can listen to the show on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, or wherever you enjoy listening to podcasts.
