There are so many thoughts that come to mind when we talk about the subject of personal responsibility. We often avoid talking about the subject because it’s something we really don’t want to accept about ourselves, the things we don’t won’t to face. However, when you don’t take a look at your own actions and behaviors, you can become a victim of life. So what do we mean by personal responsibility? We have to begin by understanding the definition of responsibility.
Responsibility is the state or fact of having a duty to deal with something or of having control over someone. A lot of times we don’t want to take it on, we don’t want to deal with certain things that are happening in our lives. Taking it a little further, personal responsibility is the idea that human beings choose, instigate, or otherwise cause their own actions. This is the responsibility we have for ourselves.
When you think about he word victim, what comes up for you? What does that mean to you? What does the word victim mean to you? When I talk about victim in terms of personality responsibility, I am not talking about a victim of a crime, but being a victim of your circumstances.
God give us free will to make choices. With the choices we make we understand there are consequences for those choices. We often don’t stop to think that taking no action, well that’s a choice to. There are consequences for inaction, not making decisions – the choices we make or don’t make,
Often time we spend to much time blaming others and not taking responsibility for the choices we make. We allow this to hold us prison in our on lives, actions, everything we are doing. It’s as if we have surrendered control of our lives to everything that is happening to us. We are not enjoying life but instead letting life just happen to us.
You end up just existing and next thing you know you had dreams, you had goals but what happened? Years have gone by and now you are going through life day by day just existing. This is what being a victim is. You allow yourself to become a victim of your circumstances, to your life.
It is easy for you to keep yourself in this victim state, sometimes not even realizing it. You become a victim to certain thoughts, events, and beliefs, emotions and perceptions that hold you back from success. You can have thoughts and feelings of quilt, fear, worry and self-doubt. You most likely have a lack of self confidence and low self-esteem. You may avoid making certain decisions and don’t take action to achieve your goals and dreams. You don’t go for the promotion, write the book you have been wanting to write, or go for the dream job you wanted. You become a master of excuses easily sharing reasons why you can’t do something.
You have to accept that you will not be able to control everything that happens to you. You can not control people that will come into your life and the actions they will take. You can’t control or change how your parents treated you, how your spouse treats you or how your children may treat you some day. You can no longer allow yourself to stay trapped by their behavior and actions.
One thing you can do is take a personality assessment to raise your awareness and see how you are really showing up in the world. One I highly recommend is the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) Assessment. Others to consider are the DISC Assessment or the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). Be sure to take it with someone who is certified and they spend time going over it with you. When properly debriefed, the assessment will assist you with clarifying your why, what it is you truly want and value in life and free you from being a victim.
Be careful not to surround yourself with people who keep you in a victim state. Misery loves company, and as you grow and begin to live an authentic life not everyone will be happy with the changes you make. Consider working with a coach or mentor or possibly joining a group such as a mastermind or group coaching programs such as The Infinity Coaching Inner Circle. The group should keep you motivated and inspired and empower you with the skills to achieve your goals.
At some point in life, you will feel like a victim. Most of us have. The difference is you can not allow yourself to stay in this state. If you do, you are merely, existing and not living up to your full God given potential.
You are the CEO of your future. Your success is your responsibility. In your personal life and your professional life your success is your responsibility. Start by owning and accepting your choices. When you do people will look at you differently. You will reduce the anxiety and stress in your life. You will increase your self-esteem and begin to feel empowered! Spend a some time thinking about what it means to be a victim of your circumstances and when you are ready – break free and begin to wake up to who you really are!
Carolyn R. Owens has over 25 years of proven experience and serves as a Career Strategist, Leadership and Life Coach. She is the Chairwoman and CEO of Infinity Coaching, Inc. where they help you up-level your skills so you can up-level your income. Infinity Coaching, Inc. provides one-on-one and group coaching coaching, organizational training, personality assessments and a signature program, the Infinity Coaching Inner Circle. Carolyn is certified to give both The Energy Leadership Index Assessment and Myers Briggs Type Indicator Assessment. You can find out more about both assessments and other products and services at http://www.infinitycoaching.net.